Imposter Syndrome by doing what is right?
Yeah, you read that right.
Early in life, we learn good equals reward and bad equals punishment.
Expecting to be rewarded for doing the right thing leads to disappointment.
We let right and wrong decide complicated issues and hope the world will reward our ethical behavior.
Sometimes we miss what's important because we focus solely on doing the next right thing.
Seven years ago, I started TMV Social. TMV is a marketing agency. We do outsourced marketing work, websites, and consulting.
I would produce marketing results for clients, but the same tools and processes would never work for me.
Sales activities made up my day, and I didn't take the time to research and plan proper marketing campaigns for myself.
The marketing work I did for myself was from the right things I did in client work.
Unfortunately, I never formed or completed a single plan.
Zooming out over my business back then, we would have seen hundreds of half-done projects.
Chaos predates order. Chaos in any shape is still chaos.
Completion causes the order to exist.
Half doing a good thing means it is still half bad.
Therefore finishing is better than starting.
It is better to do a good thing poorly than to do half of a good thing perfectly.
Then when looking back, it feels like you are the problem.
Everything you did was right, but the only variable is you.
We shame people for doing wrong and praise people for doing right.
We see unethical behavior rewarded and ethical people punished.
Having a small picture of right and wrong leads to carrying out an unfinished version of what is right.
Going through the motions of doing what is right and not considering the future causes pain.
Take control and decide to make your situation right, instead of only doing the right things.
Choose to reject passivity and treat yourself as a responsibility.
Having to rethink what we consider right is a scary concept.
But asking why a thing is right can be very useful when deciding what's best for you.
Three questions I spent time on.
- Is there a condition that makes something right not good enough?
- What is my concept of right?
- How should something right be carried out?
These are pretty subjective. So chew on the meat and spit out the bones.
Is there a condition that makes something right not good enough?
Disregarding people's needs and safety in favor of correctness shows there is probably a better option.
What is my concept of right?
Right is the best possible outcome. It isn't the actions needed.
It's the solution that accounts for capabilities and addresses the needs.
I highly value acting justly and love being able to show mercy, equally loving when I receive mercy. Finally, I choose to walk humbly with my values.
In a bad situation, receiving justice means it should be made right.
For a solution to be good, it should alleviate or show mercy for the pain or complications of the situation.
It should consider the wisdom of traditions, not for tradition's sake, but the benefits of insight learned from those that went before.
How should something right be carried out?
Humbly, with respect for yourself, your values, and your commitments.
I worried this would be a weird idea, but I enjoy this topic.
It feels close to calling into question everything that we consider good, but the utility is in making better and more mature decisions.